


it's all over but the shooting

by sweetestpiglet



Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Going On Facebook: A Darcy Lewis Fic Exchange
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-08
Updated: 2012-10-08
Packaged: 2017-11-15 21:02:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/531664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetestpiglet/pseuds/sweetestpiglet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy weighs the pros and cons of not meeting her bi-annual training activity requirements.</p>
            </blockquote>





	it's all over but the shooting

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bubbly (jeely)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeely/gifts).



“Babe, who is blowing up your phone?” Clint asked, watching his girlfriend reach– again– for the prototype StarkPhone (Tony had passed out to anyone he didn’t feel negative or completely neutral about- so, like, 20 people on the planet). “That’s gotta be 20 texts you’ve gotten since ‘Runway’ started, they don’t seriously expect you to work tonight, do they?”

Darcy sighed. “It’s Agent Hill. She’s getting pissy because I haven’t met my ‘bi-annual battle and individual training requirements’ yet. Apparently everyone else in Admin and Lab Assistant has gotten their hours in.”

“We go shooting every weekend,” Clint said indignantly. “You hit center mass every time on stationary targets, and you hit 75% of moving targets, what more does she want?”

Darcy bit her lip. “She may want some battle simulation training,” she admitted. “I’ve kind of, sort of, missed the last couple that they have.”

He blinked, taking that in. “They hold battle sims every six weeks. When was the last one you went to?”

“Umm… April?” 

Clint counted back in his head. “Fuck, that’s the beginning of the cycle! How many hours do you have left to complete?”

“Eight. But since it’s so close to the cycle-end, Hill’s trying to get me to do a Saturday battle theory class and mini-sim session to make it up before Monday.”

“And you’re not jumping at the chance to finish up because- why, exactly?” Clint wondered.

She groaned. “I’ve been sitting in classrooms for the last, like, 19 years, and I’ve still got 2 years left of my master’s program. I don’t want to spend my Saturday in a classroom, too. Besides, we’re going out with Pepper and Tony that night, and I don’t want to be exhausted when we hit up the dance floor.”

Clint gathered her in his arms and shook her lightly. “Babe, you’ve got to get 8 hours of sim in before Monday. When do you think you’re going to get it done?”

“I don’t knooooow,” she moaned into his shoulder. “But missing the deadline can’t be that bad, right? What’ll they make me do if I miss it?”

“Probably force you to make it up immediately.”

Darcy visibly perking up at the information. “Well, that’s not so bad.”

“And take a week of ethics and compliance training, to make sure you never miss a deadline like this again,” he added. She wriggled out of his hold and slumped back against the couch.

“Ugh, do you know when Pepper is going to be on the East Coast again? Not for another two months. We’re not going to go dancing for another two months,” she complained.

Clint sighed loudly. “I think I have an idea that lets you get the hours in and still lets us go out with Pepper and Stark on Saturday night,” he said. “But I’m going to have to call in a LOT of favors. You’re going to owe me for it, big time.”

“I’ll do anything,” Darcy swore. “What’s the plan?”

“Gimme your phone, I gotta clear it with Hill.” He typed out a message, tapping the phone on his knee until he received an answer a few moments later. “Okay, we’re good. You’ve been approved to take an intensive 4-hour battle simulation with three SHIELD instructors. I’ll bug Nat and Steve to get them in, but this Saturday morning, we’re all going to laser tag.”

“Dude, I don’t do laser-tag, especially with you and Natasha,” Darcy said told him flatly. “First off, the vests don’t even fit over my rack. And you’re the world’s best shot. It’s not even a real game, playing with you- it’s an exhibition match, where you’re the Yankees and I’m the cast of ‘Happy Days’.”

Clint made an approximation of a pout. “What if I get Stark to modify some sensors, just stick ‘em to your clothes, and maybe rig a handicap to my gun, make it a little more fair? Babe, Hill had it turned into an approved training activity, like, three years ago.” He wrapped his arms back around her waist and pulled her sideways onto his lap. “Come on, you’ve skipped out on the last six months of battle sim sessions. You just say you hated being in classrooms. Do you really want 40 hours of classroom sessions, on top of your classes?”

“Jane would be pissed if I missed out a full week to sit through something I could have avoided,” she admitted, cuddling closer. “Do you really think that Tony would make some sensors for us? And make your gun more fair?”

“I know I can get him to do it, Darce,” Clint said,. “You’re the only reason his reports get done, he’s not going to do anything to alienate you.”

She sighed. “Okay, let’s do it. There’s a place out in Long Island City that’s apparently really good. Thor took Jane there for paintball for their monthly date, a while back.”

“You make reservations for you and me and Nat and Steve, tell them we’ll pay extra to use our own equipment,” he said, pressing a quick kiss to her temple and standing up. “I’ll go get Stark to start making our gear.”

.

Saturday morning came far too early for Darcy. Steve, already energetic from his morning run, drove them out to Queens. Darcy and Clint caught up on sleep, Natasha caught up on paperwork, and America’s Golden Boy swore at frequent intervals at his fellow drivers. (Thank gods they were leaving the city, because the B&T traffic in was already insane).

“We’re here,” Steve chirped, pulling into the parking lot. “Time to get our experienced battle sim on!”

“Please never say that again,” Natasha requested, stepping out of Steve’s Prius.

After checking in, Clint helped Darcy affix Tony’s modified sensors to her clothes. “Gentlemen, please lock up our belongings, we’ll catch up with you inside,” Nat said. “I’m going to give Darcy a few pointers before we get started.” She slipped her arm in the younger woman’s and started walking towards the entrance. “Rule number one, learn the layout- quickly. Find places you can see others playing, but they cannot see you. Two, if you haven’t seen anyone after 30 seconds in a spot, find a new one. Three, if someone is aiming at you, turn sideways- that’ll limit access to your sensor. Four, rapid firing of-

“Okay, Natasha, thanks so much,” Darcy interrupted. “I don’t have that much room in my brain, and we’re starting in 2 minutes. What’s the number one thing to remember?”

“Ladies,” said an unfamiliar voice coming up behind them. They turned around to see a man in a suit and tie walking towards them. “What are two lovely ladies doing all by themselves at laser tag?”

Natasha giggled- swear to Odin, giggled. “Our office is having a laser tag competition in a few weeks,” she said, batting her eyes at him. “We’re hoping to get some... hands-on experience before the event. You look like you do this a lot. Do you have any good tips for us?”

He smiled widely. “Well, I am the champion at my center back in the city,” he boasted. “I guess the number one tip would be to stick with me, doll.” Natasha giggled again- man, that sounded weird, even in Darcy’s head. But Natasha didn’t usually mess with civilians without a reason, so when in Rome…

“Would you mind if we stuck with you during the game?” Darcy asked, trying to match Natasha’s vapid tone. “Laser tag sounds really complicated.”

“Of course I don’t mind, ladies!” he said patronizingly. “Let’s go find a good location, and I’ll give you as much hands-on as you want. Training, that is.”

Natasha leaned in to Darcy as they followed him in and whispered. “Ultimate thing to remember- always have a human shield.”

“Team Swarley is in the hiz-ouse!” the shield shouted as the countdown began.

fin


End file.
